Terrible Jokes Thread

On that very subject...

A man goes to see the doctor, expecting a male doctor, he became very withdrawn at the female doctor. He stammered that he had an issue downstairs. The female doctor reassured him that she's been a GP for 20 years and nothing could possibly alarm her. He felt a bit better so he continued that he had a problem with his penis. She said 'well ok, remove your lower clothing and I'll have a look at it'. The man nervously disrobed and show his penis to her. The doctor was stifling her laughter as it was the smallest one that she had ever seen, it was minute. The man asked if she was laughing at him. She composed herself and said 'No, not at all but what seems to be the problem?'

The man replied 'It's swollen!'
 
Which reminds me of a situation my late father was in. We all know how impenetrable doctor's receptionists are, well my dad walked into the local GP in Matlock and asked to see the quack. 'What seems to be the problem?' asks the receptionist with an imaginary PhD. My Dad being rather loud due to his failing hearing says 'I've got a problem with my dick!' the receptionist hushed him, smiled at the people in full reception area and said that his language was unsuitable and he should use other words such as his ears or nose. 'ok' says my Dad. 'I've got a problem with my left ear' . 'Ok Mr Griffin, what's the problem with your ear?'

My Dad replied 'I can't pïss out of it!'

God bless him!
 
BennyD said:
I don’t argue, I repeatedly give the right answer.

Two parrots on a perch and one says to the other, “can you smell fish?”.
Click to expand...

Brilliant
That’s better than the tank joke
I’ll send it to my mate who uses it at every opportunity
 
midlifecrisis said:
On that very subject...

A man goes to see the doctor, expecting a male doctor, he became very withdrawn at the female doctor. He stammered that he had an issue downstairs. The female doctor reassured him that she's been a GP for 20 years and nothing could possibly alarm her. He felt a bit better so he continued that he had a problem with his penis. She said 'well ok, remove your lower clothing and I'll have a look at it'. The man nervously disrobed and show his penis to her. The doctor was stifling her laughter as it was the smallest one that she had ever seen, it was minute. The man asked if she was laughing at him. She composed herself and said 'No, not at all but what seems to be the problem?'

The man replied 'It's swollen!'
Click to expand...
Did you get yourself sorted once you bought a GT ?
 
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