midlifecrisis
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This is the terrible joke thread. Terrible as in bad joke or in bad taste.
Terrible Jokes Thread
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Dopplebocker
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Guy walks into a bar and discovers there is a tiny 12-inch guy playing a piano on the bar. He says, "how's this possible"? The bartender replies that there's a genie in the closet that will grant a single wish to anyone who asks. So, he opens the closet, and the genie says, "what is your wish"? He says, "I want a million bucks" and instantly a million ducks fly out! He returns to the bartender and says, "I think that genie is hard of hearing". The bartender replies, "yeah no kidding, do you really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist"?
mowlas
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If that were me, I would’ve gone through the roof.
: "A cannibal took my girlfriend to see a Russell Crowe film."
midlifecrisis
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Just found out that girls from deepest darkest Norfolk don't do reverse cowboy...
They don't turn their back on family...
They don't turn their back on family...
midlifecrisis
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What does a Welshman call sheep in long grass...
Irresistible
Irresistible
philw696
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A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman"
She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately."
Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.
"Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.
“And, by the way," the teenager added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately."
Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.
"Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.
“And, by the way," the teenager added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."